Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Nobody Expects The Spanish Inquisition

Know what my favorite thing about having young kids in the house is? How everything turns into an Inquisition. EVERYTHING.

As I was getting the girls up for school this morning I noticed Sofia was unusually warm so I checked her temp. When 100.2 came up on the thermometer I decided she, along with Allie (who also had a fever) were staying home from school today. I didn't even bother waking Sofia up, since she wouldn't be going to school anyways. Once she finally did an hour later she looked at the clock and said, "Oh, no! We're missing breakfast!" (they serve it at school every morning). I told her she had a fever and she was staying home and she asked how many days she had slept. Confused, I replied the way I always do when I'm uncertain of the question- "yes." Unsurprisingly this answer was insufficient.

S: How many days was I sleeping mom? HOW MANY?
me: ummmm, one.
S: So I'm sick because I slept a whole day?
me: No. You didn't sleep a whole day. You slept a whole night, like you do every night.
S: Is that why I'm not going to school?
me: No. You're not going to school because you have a fever.
S: So I have a fever because I slept all night?
me: (sighing) ...yes.

S: Mom, how come I'm not going to school today?
me: Because you have a fever.
S: So I'm sick?
me: yes.
S: How do you know I won't be sick tomorrow?
me: I don't know but I hope you're not sick tomorrow
S: If I'm not sick I go back to school?
me: yes
S: How do you know I'm going to school tomorrow?
me: I just said I don't know.
S: How do you know I'm not going to school tomorrow?
me: I don't know. I hope you do.
S: BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW I won't be sick?! HOW?!
me: (utterly resigned) Yes.
S: Yes WHAT?!
me: I. DON'T. KNOW.

still later (Groundhog Day, anyone?):
S: mom, how do you know I won't be sick tomorrow?
me: uggggh. I. Just. Know.
S: because you're psychic?
me: yes.
S: oh, so you looked into my brain? And saw that tomorrow I would be better?
me: (seeing an opening) YES. YES. I looked into you're brain and saw you would be better.
S: okay.

Good God. Why didn't I just start with that?!
As I said, nobody expects (the Spanish) Inquisition.

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