Sunday, February 13, 2011

I Hate Valentine's Day

You know that movie, "I Hate Valentine's Day" with John Corbett and Nia Vardalos? I'm thinking of writing a knock off called "I Hate Valentine's Day: The Parenthood Edition".

It'll begin with an overwhelmed mother (don't these things always) crying in the kitchen over the classroom cupcakes because the pink frosting is somehow purple, and she forgot to go to Target to get Valentine's for her kids to pass out at school the next day. I don't want to give anything away, but it will probably end with her eating all the "imperfect" cupcakes herself on the kitchen floor (all 30 of them). Her kids will walk in to find her wild eyed with purple icing and candy hearts stuck to her hair and "I Hate Valentine's Day" scratched into a kitchen cabinet with a kebab skewer.

Oh, yeah. Did I mention that her husband cancelled their Valentine's Day dinner plans because he's got to "work late" again?  But the sitter is already arranged so she'll probably hit some strip joint with $15 dollars worth of pennies and try not to dilute her pomegranate appletini with the tears of a bitter, wasted life.

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